Neshan Dias
If you are staring at this politely because the Old Boy next to you insisted you read it, keep smiling for a couple of minutes and then jump straight to the epilogue at the end.
On the other hand, if you are a Royal College Old Boy (RCOB), please study this carefully as it will be on your next exam. Yes, we’re aware the only exams you have now are with your doctor. This will cure your ailments.
RCOBA Although some old boys act like they are a 100 years old (like your hapless writer), chances are that Royal College was formed at least 100 years before you were born. If you run into an old boy that claims to be part of the first RCOBA, tell him to rest in peace and for heaven’s sake leave you alone. The first RCOBA was formed in 1881.
The NSW-ACT chapter was born in 1997 and some of the boys that set it up are close on a 100. They can be spotted occasionally being told to keep batting, only a few more years to go. They politely nod and tell you to bugger off, mainly because their hearing is not what it used to be.
Spare a thought for your fellow RCOB that is part of the committee. The RCOBA in NSW-ACT was formed to help the Alma Mater and have some fun. And that they do through selfless committee members who spend countless hours practising their debating skills, writing skills and limited math skills, before nodding in unison or nodding off.
These great souls operate like phantoms in the night to prepare fun events of sport, song, dance, food and drink. They even created a Valentine’s Ball for the romantics among the 450 strong members. They then donate vast sums of money to worthy causes back home. More often than not they reach into their own pockets to fill financial shortfalls. At times like that they wish they had paid more attention in math class.
History Lesson
Much water has flown under the Royal College bridge. Before committee members start debating where that bridge is, let’s be clear: it’s just a metaphor. As for what a metaphor is, your guess is better than mine.
Many a great story gets told with passion and flare over too many glasses of amber liquid at RCOBA events. The proud tradition and history is easily justified. No wonder sparks fly between RCOBs when they meet. Ade this, Aneh that. Plenty of aiyo machans. Endless laughter and loud chatter makes it near impossible for the master of ceremonies to get everyone’s attention. At times they have to resort to drastic measures like promises of a cabaret show to get everyone’s attention.
Chances are you know all of that. So here are a few facts you might not know about this wonderful institution of yours. Did you know… The British army converted the main Royal College building into a hospital during the second world war. This was perfect for those really old boys who prefer nurse’s orders to teacher’s. Royal College produced presidents of two countries, a sultan and four prime ministers in addition to the countless professionals like you that add real value to the world. The University of Colombo’s main building used to be that of Royal College.
Did you know that a plane crashed into Royal College when Sri Lanka’s version of the Wright brothers tried to set a record flying across the island, only to crash into Royal. Yup, thank God they weren’t RCOBs – imagine what the principal would have done if they were.
What are the chances?
RCOBs are likely to have experienced the traditional ice breaker between two Lankans who meet for the first time. After exchanging surnames to attempt to establish a connection, they immediately ask each other question 2: ‘what school did you go to?’
When a RCOB learns that his new found acquaintance is a fellow RCOB, sparks usually fly and an immediate new old friendship is formed.
A pleasant Aussie gentlemen was showing your rowing reporter around a Sydney office when my Sri Lankan heritage was established. He immediately took me over to the only other brown person on the entire floor and said ‘you probably know each other’.
After the surname exchange, question 2 resulted in us learning that not only were we RCOBs, but we were batch mates! Twenty two million Sri Lankans and the first Lankan I met by chance in Australia was a long lost batch mate. Then came the mandatory third question asked of all RCOBs in NSW/ ACT – ‘machan, do you play cricket?’ That resulted in being indoctrinated into the RCOBA.
The Power of the Bond
RCOBA events often include the great tradition of singing the school song. This is done with great gusto and pride that is infectious. It bonds. When Argentina won the 2023 soccer World Cup, 46 million people that included this hapless writer took to the streets to sing and dance. They all sang the same song.
The power of sport, song and dance is that it builds strong bonds. Add to that the power of shared experience, history, pride and joy of being a part of something far bigger than yourself and you concoct a priceless formula to build stronger bonds.
The RCOBA of 1881 and 1997 were firsts in their respective lands. Over the decades they have fine tuned the bonding formula. They have stayed true their purpose. And all thanks to the selfless phantom committee members that do their best work behind the scenes.
Keep stirring the formula. Although we forget to say it, you are appreciated. Thank you RCOBA NSW / ACT.
Epilogue: Dear reader, please now laugh out loud and shout ‘brilliant’ – thank you.
- This Article first appeared on Valentine’s Ball Magazine 2023 –
